Dear Mistress

Dear Mistress,
I really do miss the sound of your voice and do wish to do your bidding. I am showered shaved and wearing a pink lacy pair of panties with a pink camasol under my clothes. I’ve taken some yarn and tucked my testicles inside of thier resting place and secured my clitty back between my legs. When I move I feel the restriction and it helps me to keep you in mind. I am your girl on the inside. ... the more I wear womens undergarments and stay faithfull to you by not touching myself in anyway but what I feel to be approved by you the more I long to be more feminine. I try and think of you allways and am trying to keep myself feminine for you. Outward I don’t look it but underneath i do. I’m thinking of going back and putting on some stockings and garters under my clothes also. The light breezy feelings of the stockings allways bring me closer to my inner fem. I am trying to become all of the things yo tell me I am. The more I dress the closer I am to becoming your XXXX.

A houseboy

Hi, I keep on reading your scripts and enjoying. I was a bit worried about how it can change me, but now I enjoy so much that I don’t care whatever change it brings to me. In fact I even enjoy to be forcebly changed and to surrender completely. It’s a great pleasure which is imposible to describe. I only want to surrender and surrender as deep as possible to you. I let your words deep into my mind and only want to feel they way you want me to feel and enjoy. Just pleasure and surrender. Take my mind, make me yours, control me please. You’ve overcome me, you’ve made me yours, and I deeply enjoy being under you.
Sincerely, M

Dearest Mistress,
I was very excited to get your letter this morning. I am heading off to workout. When I workout I wear a pair of red lacy panties with pink sweat pants that exagerate my backside. I wear a sports bra on my upper torso. I am growing my hair out also. I have my testicles tucked and my clitty tied back with some pink ribbon. this is chest day so I am getting started with some yoga and then weights. I think of you all day long in myfemale undergarments. I don’t feel like a sissy I feel like your girl. Dressing allways makes me feel like your girl. Your voice is what I hear telling me that I am your girl. I s there anything else I need to be doing in your honor. I do want to be your good girl.

I allways feel so fem when I think of you. Allthough sometimes bad thoughts come into mind when thinking about you… I find you very attractive and it is hard to think like a woman unless you would consider me a lesbian. I am sorry if this is not being a good girl…

With love your humble servent girl,

Dear Alexa, I have found your site today. I read http://www.houseboys.net/23.html and I enjoyed it very much. In fact I had an orgasm both times I read it. It was exciting to surrender and to cum helplessly while sitting in front of the PC. I had to go and have a shower.

Mistress.. I would like to share a little about my life of dressing up and enjoying being girly.  It all started when I was 10 when my aunty came to stay with us. My aunty wore tights all the time..  I loved the way they looked encasing my aunties legs.. I’m not quite sure how I first found my self in my aunties bedroom but I do know when I did start wearing tights this was only the beginning of being seduced in slowly wanting more than just wearing tights under my trousers and secretly visiting my aunties bedroom when nobody was around and lookign through her undrwear drawer and smelling her panties and wearing them also.  It was also at this time when I had my first homosexual experience with a friend.. we were so young and just kissed & were feeling each other… thats all.. but we both enjoyed dressing up.  My friends mum I noticed always wore american tan tights all the time and I wanted to wear them and get dressed up. So we got dressed up together.. I felt so girly and naughty. I wanted to be girly… we didn’t fuck or anything; we were just to young to know what to do. Sadly my friend didn’t have the same feelings towards dressing as I did or our growing relationship and told all my other friends about our little secret! However, this didn’t stop me from dressing up… which became more… more often. What I used to do was get home from school early and go straight to my aunties room. When I would get there I would take all my clothes off .. when opening the underwear drawer.. I loved the womanly aroma. I loved the way dressing up made me feel. I would walk around the house.. sit & watch tv; crossing my legs and stroking my legs all the time… I would always finish of these little dressing sessions by going back to my room and would then wank with the tights on…. feeling my nylon encased legs as I stroked myself. I did this for years… my aunty didn’t say anything to me but I’m sure she would’ve have known that I was wearing her clothes.

Hello Mistress , although I have been prissing around as a sissy maid for the last 20 years I found your manual to be most helpful . I wanted to say thank you
I hope you have a wonderful week . Respectfully , maid missy

For all crossdressers, with or without sweater fetishes,   Johnny Depp’s portrayal of a Hollywood director-crossdresser goes straight to the heart.  Watch the scene when Ed Wood (the director) dresses up in a fluffy angora sweater and skirt and reveals himself to his girlfriend.

I stumbled across the website after I decided to do some research after I saw a magazine styled after ‘Sissy Girls’ I saw at a local sex shop. Let me be blunt. I am a transsexual, but after reading several of the stories and looking at some of the material on your site, I actually felt a bit…well, scared to tell the truth. For me transsexuality is about survival. Without hormones testosterone infects me like the most insidious poison, but to these examples, forced feminization seems like a hybrid of transsexuality and kink. In my situation, I know not to judge, but I have some difficulty understanding. The women in these stories seem to abandon their masculinity and improve themselves by becoming women and engage in sexual domination.

I guess the biggest question I have is to what extent is this all a fantasy and to what extent is it an actual lifestyle change? Forgive my naivite, but the contracts and worksheets you have posted seem pretty clear about the intent on an actual transformation of sorts. For lack of better terms, is this for real? Do some men actually abandon their minds and become servants of wealthy women? Again, I apologize for the naivite, but it seems a bit unclear to me.

In any event, the one thing that disturbs me a little is the willingness to abandon rational thought and self-respect. I understand the sexual and mental pleasure that can be derived from being dominated, but the extent of it all seems a little…cruel. Make no mistake though! I am not condemning any lifestyle or choice. I’m more just curious.

I understand you are probably a very busy woman and probably won’t have time to reply (since I imagine your inbox is quite large), but if you could offer me a small explanation or clarification, I would be much obliged.

Thank You.

Friendly and Respectfully,

L.

Fanny Grrl: A thought diary of a transgendered boygirl.
The penis tucking secret

All crossdressers have this problem: “How can I tuck away my genitals, but remain comfortable and without any extra help?” I just don’t like gaffs, strapping, taping and so forth. It’s uncomfortable, often painful and doesn’t really make you ‘feel’ right down there. Lucky for us, there IS a way, and it’s quite easy too.

In recent years, I have developed a way of hiding the male bulge without any ‘extras’. There is only one thing you should be able to do to use this technique: you need to be able to push your testicles back in the the lower abdomen.

WHAT?

Well, in case you didn’t know, when before you were born, the testicles resided INSIDE the body, in a cavity in the lower abdomen called the inguinal canal. Before birth or soon after, the testicles descend into the skin below the abdomen, thus giving shape to the distinctive male genitalia.

These cavities remain throughout our lives, however the opening through which the testicles descended might become more tight. Actually, when you gain weight or grow older, these openings may open up completely again.

Now, if you didn’t succeed yet to push your testicles up into your body though these openings, I would suggest to CAREFULLY feel upwards along the shaft of your penis. Don’t mind to take up some loose skin while you go up, the opening can be quite deep.

Now follow the steps as indicated below to completely hide your penis and make your sex look (and feel!) like female genitalia.

Step 1.

Go sit down in a comfortable position (on the bed f.i.) and undress.

Step 2.

Lie down on your back. Use some pillows to support your back. Using a small mirror to see what you are doing might be helpful.

Step 3.

Push your testicles up into your lower abdomen. Be careful not to harm yourself. You might get the sensation as if someone kicked you in the groin. Although you shouldn’t feel any pain.

Make sure that you leave as much (scrotum) skin as possible hanging outside.

Step 4.

Now roll down on your side. You should keep your hand on your penis as shown, otherwise your testicles might get pushed out again.

Step 5.

With the other hand, take AS MUCH skin as possible and pull it down towards (and if possible over) your anus.

Your penis will be pulled back as you pull the skin. This is good, as now we’ll hide the penis as well.

Step 6.

Roll back. As you roll, your thighs keep the skin and penis in place.

Of course, if you have a very hard erection, this doesn’t work. Although that a completely soft penis doesn’t help eather. In my own experience, having a half erect penis works best. With some practice, you should be able to do this in a matter of seconds, even while standing up.

Ready to go

Now you’re ready to go. Any kind of girls panties should keep everything in place. G-strings may get uncomfortable after a while, and if you have a big penis, it may ‘pop out’ when you’re wearing strings. Again, in my experience, ordinary girls’ panties work best.

Have fun!
Fanny :-)

Thank you R, for telling me about Fanny Grrl: A thought diary of a transgendered boygirl and her

penis tucking secret.

For illustrations, see Fanny G’s blog

hi Maam,
my name is SSSSS. i have called you before, but not in a while. i have always LOVED talking to you. i still very often think about the roleplays i have done with you. you catching me skinny dipping and finding out i have a shriveled baby penis…...... that one is in my head a lot :)
i am writing to you now because i am dying to talk to you. but know i wont be able to explain this over the phone cause im to shy to get it all out. in the past you have always sort of hinted that you would push me into something…... and i always said that i did not want to play there. and at the time i did not. im sending you some caption pictures that i have done (i have done a lot of the…blushing) i know these are the best way to tell you this. i hope you are amused by them…...... and to be honest i cant even imagine what a call with you will be like no that you know all of this…..
thank you for taking the time to look at these, i am hoping to call you as soon as possible. if you get this, and have a moment, please send me a quick reply so i know you have been in on my secret. i will call as soon as i hear back from you :) i am deeply embarrassed by sending you these…... but i do hope you like them
SSSSSS

Lucky Star is a popular Japanese cartoon series whose main characters are all female with pastel colored hair and schoolgirl dresses. Thousands of young men (in their 20s and 30s) dressed in sailor skirts, pink wigs and stockings, pay tribute to their comic heroines by visiting Washinomiya Shrine, in costume.

(See Wall Street Journal 7/30/2008)

My morning starts at 5 am I’m allowed a twenty minute shower in which I’m expected to remove all body hair. Mistress hates razor bumps so I have to use Veet. When I get out of the shower I see the clothes Mistress had me lay out the night before, I slip my red lace panties up over my hips until I feel them fit snugly. My Mistress has given me a matching lace bra to wear it’s a pushup bra which makes my titties look bigger. I then strap on my garter belt and slide my stockings up and attach them and make sure the seams are straight, Mistress doesn’t like pantyhose. A short black skirt and white blouse complete my uniform. The blouse is short and only comes to my navel and cut so low that every time I bend over you can see the lace cups of my bra. The skirt is likewise short barely halfway down my thighs so again anyone standing behind me can see my panties whenever I bend over. I know it’s kind of naughty but I try to bend over a lot. I like to wear high heels but mistress says they make too tall so I have to wear flats unless I have special permission, at least they’re cute little t-straps. Next comes make up; mascara, eye liner and shadow, blush, and lipstick. Now I’m ready to inspect the rest of the girls.

The others are all ready and look gorgeous of course. Heidi looks especially cute in pigtails. She’s on kitchen duty this week so she’s wearing a darling little cook’s outfit. I envy her a little she’s more petite than me and shorter so she can wear heels all the time. I can see a hint of a bra strap peeking out of her sleeveless dress and ask her to tuck it in. Then there’s Lauren, she’ll be serving Mistress’ breakfast so she’s wearing a more standard maid’s uniform. Finally Becka the new girl, Becka’s on call this morning to run errands and fetch things for Mistress, she’s got on a frilly sundress in case she has to go out for some reason. My name is Anna. I’m Mistress’ body servant.

Your new name will be Lauren, Let me tell you a little about who and what you will be. Eventually Lauren will be employed by one of our wealthy female clients. I can’t tell you just exactly who She will be, but suffice it to say that in your eyes she will be the most beautiful woman you have ever known.You will dedicate every waking moment to ensuring that she is happy, healthy and content. You will have no sexual feeling for her, of course, or for any woman for that matter; this would only compromise your role as a servant. You will admire her, though. In your heart of hearts, you will wish that you could be her.Everything that she touches – her clothes, her undergarments, her makeup, her shoes, and her jewelry, even the furniture she sits uponwill be dearer to you than your own life. You will be nothing. She will be God, the Universe, all that is good and beautiful and worthy of being loved. Your existence would have no meaning if it were not for Her. If she is in the least displeased with your behavior it will be as if someone were twisting a knife inside your chest. You will have no peace of mind until she restores you to her good graces. Even the slightest frown or look of disappointment can drive you to tears of despair for not having perfectly served her.You will work very very hard, Lauren. Your days will be filled with cleaning, washing, vacuuming, cooking, ironing, sweeping, laying out clothes, picking up clothes, putting away clothes, dusting, emptying trash, doing dishes, mopping, brushing your mistressís hair, serving meals, serving coffee, making snacks, scouring toilets, making beds, day after day after day, seven days a week, three hundred and sixty five days a year. What little time you have for yourself will be spent looking at the pictures in women’s magazines or fussing with your appearance. You will keep yourself lean and trim. Your undergarments and uniforms will always be immaculate. Your makeup will always be fresh and perfectly applied.And sometimes, Lauren, when it is late at night and you are not too exhausted from your long day of service, you will pleasure yourself in a manner consistent with the abject feminine consciousness we have created for you. You will find yourself fantasizing exclusively about men: strong and powerful men who are as strong as you are weak, who are as hard and forceful as you are soft and submissive, men alone or men in groups who see you only as a sexual object, men who want to possess your body in every conceivable way again and again and again.As time passes you will naturally want to make your fantasies real. Perhaps your mistress will give you a night off now and then. Perhaps she will have given you some of her precious, castaway clothing. Perhaps you will put on a tight dress and high heels and spend an evening looking for male companionship at a local bar. All will be possible once you are a woman.I know that you have lived a cultured life and are well educated. You have read many books and perhaps speak several languages. You are accustomed to thinking deeply about things, to making decisions based on reason and analysis and your great storehouse of knowledge. All of this will change.When we are done with you you will barely have the intellectual capacity of a six year old. Big words will be lost on you. Out of necessity your mistress will have to talk to you like a child. You will be smart enough to follow instructions and do your weekly chores, but no more than that. You will be able to read simple printed messages, but the morning newspaper will be as meaningless to you as if it were written in Egyptian hieroglyphics.I know this is very hard for you to imagine, and it might be more than a little frightening as well, but I assure you that we do this for very good reasons. You will simply be much happier if you donít have to think very much. How many college graduates are content to be maids? Being a maid will be the most important and treasured thing in your life, next to your mistressís happiness, and we donít want to complicate it with unnecessary thinking. And you shouldnít be afraid. The process is gradual, somewhat in synchronization with the changes in your body.As your breasts become bigger and bigger thanks to the massive injections of hormones, your mind will become smaller and smaller thanks to the other medication and treatments we will give you. Memories and experience will vanish like ghosts in the dark. In their place will appear simple concepts and feelings similar to those of a very young girl. Have you ever noticed how much little girls worship their mothers? How they want to look and act like them? How they follow them around the house trying to be helpful? How they want to look pretty and be loved? Those are the feelings that you will soon have, first towards one of our trainers and then towards the woman whom you will serve and adore for the rest of your life.So there it is Lauren. I would ask you if you still wanted to go through with it, but we both know that it is too late for second thoughts. You have been unhappy as a man, but now we are here for you to make things better. I look forward to seeing you next week. Please be sure to have your affairs in order, as you will never be returning to your present home or to your present life.Now I’m ready to serve, where do I report?

Good Morning Mistress,

I am back home again now and only have one day before I head back to work. I did some shopping in Burbank and found a purfume called Obsession that I purchased. I bought it and a bracelet. The bracelet is a gold solid wrap around type. The perfume is very seductive and I spray a little in my bandana so that I can take it out and press it to my face. The smell is deep and very seductive, feminine and the name obsession is what you are to me. You are my obsesion. Your voice is seductive and arousing. I don’t need scenarios or stages just your voice telling me what you need me to do or want me to do even if it is just for your amusement. I look forward to our next conversation, I remain your loyal enthusiastic servant

Mistress,
I look at your website all the time, and dream. I have only called once but it is almost torture to me not to be turned into the sissy that I have always wanted to be. Oh if only there were a place I could go and be turned into a real sissy, brainwashed, and set free to serve women with every thing I have. I can think of no happier success story that there could be.
wanna be,
Pauline

When I was a little girl I asked my brother if he was happy to be a boy. He stopped for a minute and then said a matter of fact “Yes.” At the same time I waited for the answer I was thinking that I should answer this question for myself, but my brother in his innocent and simple wisdom asked me the same question. “Are you?” “Mmmhmmmm…of course.” In answering the question, I heard a small voice in the back of my mind respond, “Are you sure?” Well, for several weeks I pondered that question and I came to the realization that yes, I was happy as a girl, and wouldn’t mind knowing what it would be like to have a real penis and maybe fuck girls sometimes.

I have always enjoyed feeling my femininity and Goddess-like qualities. I have never envied men, although borrowing a real live penis would be a dream come true…at least for a little while. I can have the next best thing with my beautiful collection of strap on dildos. But it is not the same as having a real penis. My one and only sadness is that I will NEVER, no matter how hard I try, be able to fully experience the intense pleasure of penetration. Feeling my cock inside a mouth or when the tip is pressing up against a woman’s lubricated clit hood just before it slides in. To know exactly that feeling of having my penis engulfed all the way around by a soft and warm little hole as it thrusts in and out climbing to a euphoric orgasm!

Which brings me to another thought. What is it like to answer the question, “Am I happy to be the sex I am,” with a “no?” What then? Is the alternative to hide who we are only to share it with a confidant who can be trusted? Who can be trusted? When do we get to live our lives the way we feel most comfortable? What do we do when the risks outweigh the benefits? The loss of friends, family, jobs and careers? What would it be like to be free?

I am lucky to have some very courageous people in my life. Certainly the idea to come all the way out of the closet, may be too much. So we find ways to have it all. It amazes me that although we have made progress in our world, there are just certain lifestyles that make people feel uncomfortable, or for that matter, judgmental. Further, it doesn’t change who a person is inside, only that their true feelings about WHO they are originate as the opposite sex they were born as.

From what I understand, there are areas in the world where sexual reassignment clinics are performing many sex change operations a day. This information is amazing to me because this type of surgery isn’t like having a face lift. It is changing the hormonal nature of who you are. The commitment is quite an undertaking with the prescriptions of hormones, surgeries as well as psychological counseling that is important to this process.

I remember when I was 21, I met a woman I knew was a transsexual. She was amazing because when I was with her, I could see the courage it took for her to live her life. She liked to be with me

I notice slight differences from cross dressers, to transvestites, to transgendered, only in the varying degree of how the lifestyle is incorporated individually. What remains the same to me, is how important being the opposite gender is, than the sex one was born with. That dressing up and being male or female is as important as the air that keeps us alive, even if it is for a brief time. In fact there are many femmes who go through a purge every now and then, because they don’t fit into society and the lifestyle is not accepted. All the clothing, make up, lingerie, breasts, wigs and shoes are thrown into a bag and driven to the nearest dumpsite and purged. What ends up happening is that little by little the need overcomes the reason they purged, which begins the cycle all over again. Along with this secret lies torment, guilt and shame. So what happens when the compulsion to dress is overwhelming?

Something takes over during the process of transformation. Transformation to me, is a wonderful process. I love creating a look through make-up, breast forms, hair, and clothing. I watch as I create not only a whole new look, but an entirely different sex. Over the years I have enjoyed performing my own kinds of sexual reassignments and have marveled not only at the result, but who this person becomes.

If you live here in the Twin Cities, you may be familiar with the magazine Lavender. This is a gay, lesbian, bi, and transgendered friendly magazine and deals with many issues including a wonderful column on leather life written by a man named Steve Lenius. On the cover of one of the issues (2001-2002) were several pictures of a frined of mine who was a male to female. When I first met her, she was not always dressing up as a woman. For her, this was something that became more prevalent later on in her life. Now, she is living her life happily as a woman…and being accepted by her peers.

Another friend of mine began a transission from female to male. I marvel at the courage and commitment it takes to make this transformation. It had been a while since I had seen my friend and I knew he was taking hormones. As he opened his mouth to speak, I heard a deepness in his voice I had never heard before. His voice had changed…I look at him totally different now and totally as a man.

And then there is my friend Ms Patris, she is my pre-op transsexual friend. I have been very fortunate to have a very special friendship with her. I support her in who she wants to be no matter what, and I love her dearly. I always see her “Patris” side even when she is in her male clothes, which is rare these days. It comes with a giggle or a roll of the eyes or maybe a little hand gesture, but I see it always because it is always present. I know that there are people in her life who may never know her as Patris, but I do…Patris has undergone quite a transformation. I tease her now about how almost everything she wore was see through and exaggerated when we first met. Big hair, long nails, 7 inch platform heels, thick eyelashes, big breasts with hard plastic nipples…It wasn’t the fact that her dressing in see-through clothes was unacceptable to me at all, it was when she would choose to wear these clothes I found troubling. For me, as a female, there is a type of decorum with certain types of clothing that when worn makes them appropriate. I would never wear my risqué or for that matter my domme clothing where it was inappropriate, say like to a Farmers Market, or to the beach…or where there wasn’t a Fetish event. What I wanted her to understand was that if she wanted to be taken seriously as a female, she would need to dress accordingly. So she saved the brilliant wardrobe for more appropriate times, like in the evening and at certain events. I feel the apparent reason for dressing in a manner that may seem inappropriate is that in order to feel like a woman, some male to females feel the need to exaggerate feminine qualities in order to feel their femininity. Patris grew out of the big hair and exaggerated femme-ware and I find her unbelievably beautiful, stylish and glamorous. From her, I learned that the need to be accepted and loved is enormous.

In a nutshell, I simply love and adore the people I have had the honor to share their transformation with. I have been blessed to take a peak into their lives. What is it like to not feel right in one’s own skin? Some of us were just lucky to be born the sex we are happy with and for others it is a challenge. Acceptance and gratitude are always the key. We accept ourselves for who we are and others will too. And if they don’t, that’s okay too because we are the light that shines the way and sets the example for unconditional love. It runs both ways…

So be glamorous and love yourself and most importantly, follow your heart.

Sharina Nicole
www.sharinanicole.com

I am enthralled and so impressed by your artistry and obvious mastery of the spoken word. I believe you have taken the fantasy and its pursuit with the obvious limitations as such beyond any expectation of mine. I am almost afraid to call and fullfill such a desire as I have. I look forward to revealing to you my need and my dream that came to me. I hadn’t had a wet dream since i was a teenager but i did in this wonderful unexpected erotic visit from my subconscious. You are a wonderful storyteller.
Mama’s Boy

Good morning,

I hope that this letter finds you well. Everything is good here. I am getting ready for another day here. I have my workout first thing and then some yoga for you. I have found that I have to concentrate on the poses so I take some time in the morning to smell some of the obsesion perfume and kneel to to worship you. I think of you and wonder what you would be saying to me. I hear your voice and try and soften and relax. I don’t touch myself except to shift my excitement to a more unstrained position in the tight panties I am wearing. Yes I am yours and I worship you and wait with anticipation for your every command or soft words. Your servant

Good Morning Mistress,

Thank you so much for te letter yesterday it really made my day. After reading your letter I was very aroused to the point that I had difficulty in my room not touching myself but I did not. After a shower I took some of the obsession and put it on a bandana placed the bandana around my face and tried another yoga pose. I am doing some of the poses for the abdomin. I do think of you all the time and try and think of ways to please you. Your wish is my command and I look forward to anything you ask of me. Your servent M

Dear Mistress,

Good morning, here I sit happy to have recieved praise from you. I am happy to serve you in every way I can and will. Please help me to better serve you. I live for my servitude to you. I guess I am a little confused at these feelings as I have never been a servant. My excitment at the thought of serving you is growing with each comunication I have with you. Thank you for taking time out of your busy day to comunicate with your humble sevant, If there is any way that I can serve you please do not hesitate to tell me. Your servant , XXXXX